- Devote. Cherish. Appreciate -

I had dinner date with my dad yesterday since my mum and sister went out with my aunt. Dinner was spicy! Loads of chilli! But the company was heartwarming :)) After dinner, we went home and rested on the sofa... my dad then broke into a conversation... he told me that grandpa could have survived past 100 plus years old if not because of what had happened... and yes, I agreed with him... after the conversation, alot of thoughts went through my mind... my dad hasn't gotten over the fact that he had lost his beloved father... I'm not writing this to say that he should get over it since he's a guy or whatsoever, everyone also have feelings even guys... I was quite emotional by the fact that he had brought this conversation up with me... I was trying hard to hold back my tears not to break down in front of him... it was a tough night... after the conversation I had to find excuse to go to the bathroom to let it out... it was just too much to hold it in... I am still missing m

Realised I haven't been posting much lately... lots of things came up recently some good but mostly bad.... At this point in time, I'm not sure if I had made the right decision anymore, I'm not sure of where I wanna go... I'm just very lost... It's simple as A or B but if I take any one the other one will get hurt, best choice, drop both... or disappear from here.. It just hurts so much at times that I had to control it so much just not to show... it's tough... real tough... can anyone help me pleasee?